Reflections

Today was crazy fun.  I got so much accomplished and managed to enjoy myself while doing it.  Everything is finally starting to look up, and I really am having the time of my life.  I'm blessed with so many amazing friends that make these days so enjoyable, as well as a wonderful family that supports me throughout all my ridiculous endeavors.  Finding myself is still a project in the making, but I can honestly say that I feel one step closer to becoming the person I know I'm meant to be.  Sure, I have no idea what I want to do with my life or where it's going to take me, but I'm on my way to finding out how I want to live it.

I can't believe 2012 is almost over.  It's been such a crazy year, and I can't even begin to list how much I've grown and learned in the past twelve months.  A year ago, I never imagined my life would be the way it is now, but I couldn't be happier with the way things are going.  I feel like I've finally accepted all the things I can't change and have started taking the chances I should have all along.  I've become aware of the fact that worrying will do me no good and that sometimes, you just have to take it moment by moment, because things can change in the blink of an eye.  I've put less stress on the superficial things and have focused more on what's really important.  I've realized that sometimes, I'm going to fail and that all I can do is accept it and move on.  I've learned to fake it until I make it and that nothing is ever as bad as it seems.  

That being said, school has probably had the biggest impact on the way I look at things.  It's so easy to get caught up in the negativity of it all, complaining constantly about the homework, tests, teachers, and people.  But complaining too much can impose such a negative mindset that every school day becomes almost unbearable.  For a few weeks, school was torture for me.  All I could think about was going home, and sitting through an entire day felt impossible.  I constantly procrastinated everything, and homework was always done at the very last minute.  If there wasn't time to do it the class before it was due, it didn't get done.  I could never stay focused in class, and walking into school every morning became torture.  Thankfully, I realize change was necessary before it was too late.  I can't say that I've completely recovered from this phase yet, but I can say that eliminating some of the negativity has helped me tremendously.  I've realized that school is necessary.  Nobody wants to do homework, nobody wants to study, and nobody wants to believe that anything we learn will ever be used in the future.  But complaining about it constantly isn't going to make it any easier.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've learned that you're only as happy as you make up your mind to be.  The happiest people don't have everything handed to them  and don't live perfect lives.  They don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything.  I've always heard these keys, but really understanding them was an amazing intervention.  Getting that motivated, positive mindset wasn't at all easy, but it was definitely worth it.  I can honestly say that I have been so much more productive and focused since I've stopped worrying about everything in the world and started looking on the bright side, and my grades have even seen improvements.  

This is only one of the incredible things 2012 has taught me.  It's funny how day after day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different.  I have one month left this year, and I'm determined to finish strong.  December is going to be a month of reflection.  I plan to take everything the year has taught me and really live it out.  It may take a lifetime to learn how to live, but every year can bring me one step closer to ultimate success.  This life is a crazy ride, but I'm enjoying every mile of it.